What Not to Wear Part 2: For Every Occasion, the second tome from those Sloane rangers--or re-arrangers--of style, Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine, is based on the revised version of their hit BBC television series. Having tired of forcing ordinary mortals and celebrities to reassess their everyday dress sense, or lack of it to be precise, the harridans have gone specific. Here the pair offer a chapter-by-chapter, photo-illustrated guide, replete with closing checklists and a directory of boutiques, on what to and, more importantly, what not to wear on particular occasions.
In their very own inimitable way, i.e., gleefully rude way, they point out the sartorial pitfalls women can make on such humdrum activities as working in an office and hitting the beach to meeting your boyfriend's mother for the first time, attending job interviews, weddings and school carol concerts. (The trick with the latter is to avoid red and black clothes, fishnets and scarlet lipstick at all costs. Unless of course you want your outfit to scream "I am slutty, available and a bad role model for my children", in which case, apparently, they are bang on and you may seek out the maths master who eyed you up on sports day, safe in the knowledge that another notch on the bedpost is yours for the asking.) "The moral here", they say, "is to consider the occasion more important than yourself". And, in case you were in any doubt about thongs, whatever the occasion a "crusty, worn-out cheesecutter is not a pretty sight", if you really must flash your knickers, they sagely advise, invest in a thong that's decorative, preferably sequinned, "rather than a barren triangle of grubby nylon." Buy this and ensure that you manage to keep fashion faux pas at bay. --Travis Elborough