John Gray (John Gray, Ph.D.)

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  • Children Are from Heaven: Positive Parenting Skills for Raising Cooperative, Confident, and Compassionate Children
    by John Gray
    ISBN 0060930993 (0-06-093099-3)
    Softcover, Harper Perennial

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    Book summary:

    Psychologist John Gray (he of Men Are from Mars... fame) cites a need to shift from "fear-based parenting" (a punitive and oppressive approach to child rearing) to "love-based parenting" (which accepts children's desires and negative emotions while still setting reasonable limits). With child and teen violence increasing, rampant low self-esteem, substance abuse, teen pregnancy, and attention deficit disorder, he says, "the Western free world is experiencing a crisis in parenting. Almost all parents today are questioning both the old and the new ways of parenting. Nothing seems to be working."

    He suggests "Five Messages of Positive Parenting" that will facilitate such a shift:

  • It's okay to be different.
  • It's okay to make mistakes.
  • It's okay to express negative emotions.
  • It's okay to want more.
  • It's okay to say no, but remember mom and dad are the bosses.

    Although his parenting philosophy is not necessarily revolutionary (think "positive discipline"), Gray manages to keep this parenting primer contemporary by weaving in specific challenges of new-millennium families--such as our tendency to be consumer-driven and overscheduled. "When parents learn what their children really need, they are less motivated to create money to acquire things and more motivated to create time to enjoy their family," Gray writes. "The greatest wealth for a parent today is time." --Gail Hudson

  • More editions of Children Are from Heaven: Positive Parenting Skills for Raising Cooperative, Confident, and Compassionate Children:

  • Gray, JOHN: Construction Technology (Today and Tomorrow, Teacher's Resource Guide)
  • JOHN GRAY: The Essential Mars and Venus: The Most Famous Relationships Book Ever Published
  • Gray, John: General industry and technology
  • Gray, John: How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have: A Practical and Spiritual Guide to Personal Success
  • Gray, John: Isaiah Berlin (Modern Masters)
  • John Gray: Mars and Venus Collide
  • Gray, John: Mars and Venus Complete Book of Romance: Sears Special Markets
  • Gray, John: Mars and Venus in Love: Inspiring and Heartfelt Stories of Relationships That Work
  • Gray, John: Mars and Venus In the Bedroom
  • Gray, John: Mars and Venus in the Bedroom: A Guide to Lasting Romance and Passion
  • Gray, John: Mars and Venus in the Workplace: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting Results at Work
  • Mars and Venus in Touch
    by John Gray
    ISBN 0060955465 (0-06-095546-5)
    Hardcover, Harper Collins

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    Book summary:

    Another guide to communication between the sexes.

  • Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to Create a Loving & Lasting Relationship
    by John Gray
    ISBN 006093221X (0-06-093221-X)
    Softcover, Harper Perennial

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    Book summary:

    Will I Ever Find My Soul Mate?

    Whether you are recently separated, divorced, or you have been in the singles scene for longer than you want, this insightful guide will help you navigate the dating maze and find that special person you've been waiting for.

    By discussing the differences between men and women, Mars and Venus on a Date provides singles with:

    • A thorough understanding of the five stages of dating -- attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity, intimacy, and engagement
    • How to know what kind of person is right for you
    • Answers to burning questions such as why don't men call, or why do some women stay single?
    • The best places to meet your soul mate
    • And advice on creating a loving and mutually fulfilling relationship

    Filled with practical guidelines, inventive techniques, and witty insight, Mars and Venus on a Date will help single men and women explore the world of dating, understand how to make good choices, and discover the secret to finding a soul mate.

  • Gray, John: Mars and Venus on a Date: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationship; 12 Book and 4 Cassette
  • Mars and Venus Starting Over: A Practical Guide for Finding Love Again After a Painful Breakup, Divorce, or the Loss of a Loved One
    by John Gray
    ISBN 0060930276 (0-06-093027-6)
    Softcover, Harper Perennial

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    Book summary:

    A breakup, divorce, or loss of a loved one isn't just the end of your relationship with that person. It's a continuation of every feeling of abandonment you've ever suffered. It's the loss of a system of approval you'd come to depend on. The struggle, as Gray points out in Starting Over, isn't just to find a new partner, but to get over those feelings of abandonment or loss or anger or whatever else gets dredged up by the end of a relationship.

    Perhaps the book's most crucial chapter posits that the best way to get over the loss of love is to focus on the "love" more than the "loss." That may seem impossible, especially if the bum took off with your best friend, your life savings, and your Lyle Lovett CDs, but Gray didn't get to be a household name because the advice in his Venus and Mars books doesn't work. Remembering only the bad parts, Gray says, leaves you with an important part of your emotional being closed to new business.

    As for the Venus and Mars stuff, that comes in the second half of the book, when Gray looks at how men and women start new relationships from different points of view, with different priorities (a man might want to have fun with no strings attached; a woman might carry with her a lengthy list of requirements for her next partner, a list that excludes virtually all available men).

    If you've never read Gray's work before, you have to be prepared to check your cynicism at the door. This is earnest stuff, but it's also based on decades of experience counseling clients. He's not one of those photogenic, nine-times-divorced shrinklets who's telling you how to conduct your relationships without any real clue of what makes love last. This is the real package: nothing glib, nothing quick and easy, nothing you could've figured out from a "Love Is..." cartoon.

  • Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love
    by John Gray
    ISBN 0060926619 (0-06-092661-9)
    Softcover, Harper Perennial

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    Book summary:

    Is it really possible to be in love forever?

    New York Times bestselling author John Gray will show you how in Mars and Venus Together Forever.

    This resource guide contains relationship skills that will help you and your mate sustain a lasting relationship that only grows richer with time. Mars and Venus Together Forever educates the different sexes on:

    • What your mother couldn't tell you and your father didn't know
    • What women need most and men really want
    • How men and women think and feel differently
    • The language barrier -- men speak "male" and women speak "female"
    • The seven secrets of lasting passion
    • And much more

    Filled with lively anecdotes, revealing exercises, and profound common sense, Mars and Venus Together Forever will help men and women explore new frontiers in their relationships, communicate effectively with each other, and discover the secret of "happily ever after."

    More editions of Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love:

  • Gray, John: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
  • John Gray: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting W
  • Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Relationships
    by John Gray
    ISBN 006016848X (0-06-016848-X)
    Hardcover, Harper-collins Publishers

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    Book summary:

    A classic and unique self-help book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus tackles the perennial problems faced by couples everywhere. Gray tells an allegorical story of the Venusians and the Martians who move to Earth, having enjoyed wonderful and fulfilling relationships with one another for many years. However, as soon as they arrive on this planet, amnesia sets in! They can no longer remember that they are from different planets and all sorts of communication and emotional problems set in. Written in an unpretentious and jargon-free style, Gray's tactic of using "Venusian" and "Martian" to refer to the two genders (and he does comment that these roles are not necessarily based on sexual biology) avoids the dead-end path followed by so many people, of using sweeping statements such as: "men always..." or "women just don't understand...". Instead, he says: "Venusians are from a different planet, therefore..." or "Martians need...". This in itself is a worthwhile tactic, removing blame and shifting communication onto a new level where it is OK not to be on the same wavelength all the time and not to automatically understand all your partner's needs. His new naming strategy even manages to be amusing, in a way that many books in this area can fail to be, although the writing tends towards over-simplicity at times.

    He discusses every aspect of relationships--but most importantly he does this in practical ways. For example, he lists common statements that people in relationships say to their partners, what is intended, what is actually heard. Gray goes on to suggest ways to say what you intended that are more appropriate for the Venusian or Martian audienc--he even compiles lists of translations of common male/female exchanges.

    The tone of the book is always helpful, friendly and non-judgmental, kind and well-meaning, although the typical self-help strategy of repeating and summarising points results in the book seeming somewhat directionless. It is nevertheless an essential title for the bookshelf of every self-respecting self-help addict, and is a good place to start for the curious. It does also have some real gems of wisdom and new strategies. All in all, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a star guide to understanding the constellations of coupledom. --Alison Jardine

  • Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: AND How to Get What You Want in Your Relationships: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships
    by John Gray
    ISBN 0007152590 (0-00-715259-0)
    Softcover, Harper Element

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    Book summary:

    A classic and unique self-help book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus tackles the perennial problems faced by couples everywhere. Gray tells an allegorical story of the Venusians and the Martians who move to Earth, having enjoyed wonderful and fulfilling relationships with one another for many years. However, as soon as they arrive on this planet, amnesia sets in! They can no longer remember that they are from different planets and all sorts of communication and emotional problems set in. Written in an unpretentious and jargon-free style, Gray's tactic of using "Venusian" and "Martian" to refer to the two genders (and he does comment that these roles are not necessarily based on sexual biology) avoids the dead-end path followed by so many people, of using sweeping statements such as: "men always..." or "women just don't understand...". Instead, he says: "Venusians are from a different planet, therefore..." or "Martians need...". This in itself is a worthwhile tactic, removing blame and shifting communication onto a new level where it is OK not to be on the same wavelength all the time and not to automatically understand all your partner's needs. His new naming strategy even manages to be amusing, in a way that many books in this area can fail to be, although the writing tends towards over-simplicity at times.

    He discusses every aspect of relationships--but most importantly he does this in practical ways. For example, he lists common statements that people in relationships say to their partners, what is intended, what is actually heard. Gray goes on to suggest ways to say what you intended that are more appropriate for the Venusian or Martian audienc--he even compiles lists of translations of common male/female exchanges.

    The tone of the book is always helpful, friendly and non-judgmental, kind and well-meaning, although the typical self-help strategy of repeating and summarising points results in the book seeming somewhat directionless. It is nevertheless an essential title for the bookshelf of every self-respecting self-help addict, and is a good place to start for the curious. It does also have some real gems of wisdom and new strategies. All in all, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a star guide to understanding the constellations of coupledom. --Alison Jardine

    More editions of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: AND How to Get What You Want in Your Relationships: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships:

  • Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Book of Days: 365 Inspirations to Enrich Your Relationships
    by John Gray
    ISBN 0060192771 (0-06-019277-1)
    Hardcover, Harper

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    Book summary:

    Nobody knows more about the differences between the sexes than John Gray, Ph.D. He is the man America turns to for help in deciphering the myriad complexities men and women face daily in their interactions with each other. The author of nine bestsellers--including the history-making Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus--John Gray expands on the expert advice touched upon in his previous books and distills each message into a powerful, inspiring daily meditation in this newest volume.

    There's no doubt about it: The relationship between men and women is extremely complex. We often forget just how different the sexes are, and become frustrated and confused by a loved one's behavior. Every day we need to be reminded of these differences and realize that it's okay to be different as long as we recognize and understand the behavior of the opposite sex. In Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Book of Days, John Gray provides us with daily inspirations that lovingly and insightfully remind us of the contrasts between Mars and Venus, allowing us to solve conflicts in our relationships.

    Each month is devoted to a single theme, with the daily meditations enlarging on the particular subject at hand. The topics correlate with the very traits of the month itself: January, an exhilarating time of new beginnings, inspires resolve and the desire to excel. In February, when we find ourselves deep in winter's grip and challenged by constant emotional upheaval, we seek reminders of the importance of commitment and the need for patience. May concentrates on such springtime issues as harmony and appreciation. The topics discussed are as diverse as relationships are.

    Inside you'll find comforting and helpful advice on:

    • The true meaning of equality

    • Improving communication

    • Giving and receiving emotional support

    • The awakening of our inner qualities

    • Needing time alone

    • Keeping the passion alive

    • Reacting to stress

    Whether you need the thoughtful reminders yourself or know a friend or loved one who will benefit from these beautiful reflections, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Book of Days is a classic that no bookshelf should be without.

    The Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Book of Days contains 365 inspirations to remind you each day of the basic differences between men and women

    Women love a man with a plan; men love a woman with a smile.

    A woman is like a wave. When she feels loved, her self-esteem rises and falls like a wave in motion. When she is feeling really good, she will reach a peak, but then suddenly her mood may change and her wave crashes down. This crash is temporary. After she reaches bottom, her mood will shift suddenly, and she will again feel good about herself. Automatically, her wave begins to rise back up...By recognizing this pattern, a man doesn't take it personally. When he doesn't feel as if he is being blamed for her downs, he can be more supportive.

    A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to understand the male intimacy cycle, which involves getting close, pulling away, and then getting close again...Most women are surprised to realize that even when a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer. Men instinctively feel this urge to pull away. It is not a decision or a choice. It just happens. It is neither his fault nor her fault. It is a natural cycle.

    Romance for women is when a man does things without her having to ask; romance for men is when a woman appreciates the things he does.

    Showing interest is one of the most important secrets to opening a woman's heart.

    A man is free to be the best he can be when he feels accepted just the way he is.

    Women need to work on trusting, while men need to work on caring.

    More editions of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Book of Days: 365 Inspirations to Enrich Your Relationships:

  • Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex
    by John Gray
    ISBN 0060574216 (0-06-057421-6)
    Softcover, Harper Paperbacks

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    Book summary:

    Relationship counselor John Gray focuses on the differences between men and women--men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, after all--and offers a simple solution: couples must acknowledge and accept these differences before they can develop happier relationships. In this unabridged version, Gray gives a spirited delivery of his message, especially when role-playing typical male/female interactions. Although it takes some time to adjust to his slightly nasal tone, the information is sound and gives both men and women helpful hints on improving themselves and their union. (Running time: 9.5 hours, 6 cassettes) --Sharon Griggins

    More editions of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex:

  • Gray, John: Men Women and Relationships
  • Men, Women and Relationships: Making Peace with the Opposite Sex
    by John Gray
    ISBN 0060507861 (0-06-050786-1)
    Softcover, Harper Perennial

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    Book summary:

    Men and women are different -- there's no denying it. So why do we constantly expect the same actions and feelings from them? This enormously helpful book not only enables you to recognize the differences between you and your loved one but also leads you toward an acceptance of those differences, thereby paving the way for a stronger relationship.

    With his characteristic wit and wisdom, relationship expert John Gray explains the different ways men and women communicate, cope with stress, resolve conflicts, and experience and give love. Once you understand these differences, you'll be better equipped to handle inevitable bumps in the road, and be on your way to a long-lasting and truly loving relationship.

    More editions of Men, Women and Relationships: Making Peace with the Opposite Sex:

  • Gray, John: Practical Miracles for Mars & Venus: Nine Principles for Lasting Love, Increasing Success and Vibrant Health in the 21st Century
    Practical Miracles for Mars and Venus Nine Principles for Lasting Love, Increasing Success and Vibrant Health in the 21st Century
    by John Gray
    ISBN 0060199504 (0-06-019950-4)
    Softcover, Harper

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    Book summary:

    Hoping to demystify the miraculous, author John Gray (Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus) offers a handbook on creating "practical miracles." Having experienced a personal miracle when he recovered from near blindness, Gray began to realize that humans could actually participate in creating their own miracles. "Miracles don't just happen for some and not for others," he notes. "They occur when specific conditions are nurtured." In order to nurture these conditions, Gray suggests living by nine guiding principles, including "Love as if for the first time," "Work as if money didn't matter," and "Relax as if everything will be okay."

    Typical of Gray, he has narrowed his book down into concise formulas, following step-by-step, stage-by-stage plans and exercises. This compulsion to script his theories into neat little self-help packages is his downfall, limiting what could have been a meaningful and important discussion about miracle making in everyday life. Instead, we can't help feeling that he's simply holding up a bottle of his latest formula and saying, "Ladies from Venus, gentlemen from Mars, for just under $20 you too can be a miracle maker...." Nonetheless, his heart seems to be in the right place and there are passages of impressive wisdom. Even hardcore skeptics could live a better life (and may even encounter a miracle or two) by following his excellent list of guiding principles. --Gail Hudson

  • Gray, John: Truly Mars and Venus: The Illustrated Essential Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
  • John Gray: What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You and Your Father Didn't Know: Advanced Relationship Skills for Better Communication and Lasting Intimacy
  • John Gray: Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improve Your Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress
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