Blue Moon over Miami: An Adult Fairytale about the 2000 Presidential Election Miscounts
ISBN 0741405741 (0-7414-0574-1)
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Softcover, Infinity Publishing, 2000
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Book summary: Enjoy a magical looking-glass view into a fantasy land where every vote counts and is actually counted. In this disrespectfully depicted segment of time, the Vice President is in a vicious recount fight with a former President s son. One state's vote will decide the Presidential election. The toss-up state's Governor is also the former President's son and the candidate's brother.
The fun begins when the lame-duck President resigns pleading being all stressed out from the recount mess in the sunshine state. His resignation makes his VP the new lame-duck President. He promptly imposes Martial Law, declares the inconclusive election null and void, vows to hold a Special Election free of politics, offers his election opponent the VP slot and extends the offer of a Special Assistant position to a third party candidate.
The ex-President boldly moons the nation during a show-and-tell-all farewell press conference before leaving the White House. The media is cursed with a gushing surge of news that overwhelms the hard pressed press.
Iceland offers to send a team of Viking Voting Advisors to assist with the Special Election. However, there's no unfounded rumor to the truth that a UFO landed on the East Lawn, or that a bushwhacker is running amuck whacking bushes.
Chad Taylor's Gang of Chad holds Disney World hostage but they're having too much fun freely frolicking throughout the park to make any demands. General I. Will Stompem's especially trained elite troops rescue the hostages without a shot being fired thankfully avoiding a nuclear strike on the iconic amusement park.
Then there's the aborted walk-by the White House assassination attempt staged by the Capitol Hill gang. The Plot has fumbled fallout from the wicked web of shame that soon spreads far and wide across the land. There's a clear and present threat to knock off the odd Threesome in the Oval Office before plans can be made for a fair election.
Thanks to a suggestion from a Social Security employee, the Special Election includes voter bribes from a trillion $$$ Federal surplus, keep in mind this is a bizarre fairytale.
The spirit of President George Washington visits the Threesome and tells an illuminating story about a Revolutionary War hero who caused the phrase and the pursuit of happiness to be included in the opening of the Declaration of Independence. Honest George does an inspired telling of the tale of Happy Hanna one of Ben Franklin's lady friends.
In the wild, Wild West, in the middle of nowhere, a massive army of evil mercenaries and badass bikers in the pay of the power brokers are secretly massing to attack VoteCentral and put an end to the foolishness of a fair election. Cut off the head and the counting of votes instantly stops.
Instead of dull debates, the three candidates compete in a televised Super-Vote Game on the eve of the Special Election Weekend every U.S. citizen with a photo ID and a Social Security Number can vote at any Post Office at any time throughout the weekend.
And then there's the show stopping news that a sold-off, old Soviet Boomer Class VI submarine crewed by mean mercenaries and loaded with nuclear ICBMs has just surfaced off the coast of New Jersey. Brenda the White House Switch Witch assures the Threesome they are safe at the Kennedy Center.
In a terrible thrust of pending vicious violence to stop voters from voting dead voters don't vote, except maybe once upon a time in Chicago two gangs of thousands of hyped-up bikers rumble along in menacing force to converge on American Fork, UT. And then an inspired turn-about happens, and the guns are turned on the bikers lots of guns from every direction and liberty prevails.
In the absolutely unguessable conclusion of this fabulous fable that
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