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› Find signed collectible books: 'Dave Barry Does Japan'
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› Find signed collectible books: 'Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway: A Vicious and Unprovoked Attack on Our Most Cherished Political Institutions'
Understanding the urgent need for a deeply thoughtful, balanced book to explain our national political process, Dave Barry has not even come close. Though he himself has covered many campaigns, run for president several times, and run for cover at the rainy inauguration of George W. Bush (the man will spare nothing for his art), Barry has instead outdone himself. Below the Beltway includes Barry's stirring account of how the United States was born, including his version of a properly written Declaration (When in the course of human events it behooves us, the people, not to ask "What can our country do for us, anyway?" but rather whether we have anything to fear except fear itself) and a revised Constitution (Section II: The House of Representatives shall be composed of people who own at least two dark suits and have not been indicted recently). Dave also cracks the income-tax code and explains the growth(s) of government, congressional hearing difficulties, and the persistent rumors of the influence of capital in the Capitol. Among other civic contributions, his tour of Washington D.C. should end school class trips forever. [via]
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› Find signed collectible books: 'Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus'
"Booger." In case you're wondering, that's the title of a winning entry from a parody contest that Dave Barry's flagship paper, the Miami Herald, ran in 1989. There's more to Dave Barry than "boogers," of course--he's the McDonald's of American humor. One, nearly everybody likes him. Two, he's everywhere. Three--and this is the key--when you open one of his books, you know exactly what you're going to get: "Eugene is located in southwest Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything." "If you're looking for a hearty entree that (1) is related to spiders; (2) is descended from a worm; and (3) has mutant baby-poopers walking around on its lips; then you definitely want a lobster." This collection of columns--sure to serve billions and billions--is called Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus. (Strangely, it isn't a parody of John Gray's series, even though there's nobody better equipped to do one.) Inside you'll find the same genial, absurd fantasies, riffs on clippings that Barry insists he is not making up, and bizarre personal adventures that are his trademark. Do you like hamburgers? Of course--and you'll like this book, too. [via]
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› Find signed collectible books: 'Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up'
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› Find signed collectible books: 'Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down!'
Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry is a pretty amiable guy. But lately, hes been getting a little worked up. What could make a mild-mannered man of words so hot under the collar? Well, a lot of thingslike bad public art, Internet millionaires, SUVs, Regis Philbin . . . and even bigger problems, like
" The slower-than-deceased-livestock left-lane drivers who apparently believe that the right lane is sacred and must never come in direct contact with tires
" The parent-misery quotient of last-minute school science fair projects
" Day trading and other careers that never require you to take off your bathrobe
" The plague of the low-flow toilets, which is so bad that even in Miami, where you can buy drugs just by opening your front door and yelling Hey! I want some crack, you cant even sell your first born to get a normal-flushing toilet
Dave Barry is not taking any of this sitting down. Hes going to stand up for the rights of all Americans against ridiculously named specialty chino coffees and the IRS. Just as soon as he gets the darn toilet flushed. [via]
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› Find signed collectible books: 'Dave Barry Slept Here'
Dave runs American history through the wringer, and comes up with some wonderfully warped formulations. (The Vikings, for example, "were extremely rugged individuals whose idea of a fun time was to sail over and set fire to England, which in those days was fairly easy to ignite because it had a very high level of thatch, this being the kind of roof favored by the local tribespeople...") Covering pre-Columbian days through the dawn of the Bush administration, Dave Barry Slept Here is the funniest thing to hit this great nation since the Smoot-Hawley Tariff of 1930. [via]
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› Find signed collectible books: 'Dave Barry Turns 50'

› Find signed collectible books: 'Dave Barry's Bad Habits: A 100% Fact-free Book'
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› Find signed collectible books: 'Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys'
For thousands of years, women have asked themselves: What is the deal with guys, anyway? What are they thinking? The answer, of course, is: virtually nothing. But that has not stopped Dave Barry from writing an entire book about them, dealing frankly and semi-thoroughly with such important guy issues as:
- Scratching
- Why the average guy can remember who won the 1960 World Series but
not necessarily the names of all his children
- Why guys cannot simultaneously think and look at breasts
- Secret guy orgasm-delaying techniques, including the Margaret Thatcher
Method
- Why guys prefer to believe that there is no such thing as a "prostate" [via]
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› Find signed collectible books: 'Dave Barry's Greatest Hits'
A Greatest Hits package to die for, in which the inimitable, Pulitzer-packing humorist applies himself to taxes, toilets, airbags, baseball, beer commercials, and numerous other American artifacts. A typical bit, from a piece on legalized gambling: "Off-Track Betting parlors are the kinds of places where you never see signs that say, 'Thank You for Not Smoking.' The best you could hope for is, 'Thank You for Not Spitting Pieces of Your Cigar on My Neck.'" Happy? There's plenty more where that came from. [via]
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› Find signed collectible books: 'Dave Barry's Homes and Other Black Holes'
So much classic humor comes from anxiety--think of all the befuddled "little men," from James Thurber to Bud Abbott to Woody Allen. One of the most breakdown-inspiring activities in modern life is buying a house, and Dave Barry is a battle-scarred vet of the whole real estate experience. This book is his therapy.
There's nobody better than Barry to mine this territory, and every page of Dave Barry's Homes and Other Black Holes yields up nuggets of the good stuff. Here are a few words from somebody who has been there, done that: "Most experts recommend that, for maximum effectiveness, you should look at forty-five or even fifty houses per day. Experienced home shoppers often reach the point where they can leap out of the real estate broker's car, look at a house, and get back into the car before it reaches a complete stop."
The book also discusses the myriad details of settling into your new life, including a section on making new enemies, dealing with contractors, and redecorating. "The main tip you will pick up is that if you want your house to look really nice, you do not necessarily have to have professional training or even a 'flair' for design; all you need is to have more money than the human mind can comprehend."
As always, Barry is assisted throughout by the illustrations of Jeff (Shoe) MacNelly, making Dave Barry's Homes and Other Black Holes a very funny book and excellent housewarming gift. --Michael Gerber [via]
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› Find signed collectible books: 'Dave Barry's Money Secrets: Like Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?'
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› Find signed collectible books: 'Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need'
Take your travel tips from dave barry,a guy who is really gone!complete with maps, histories, quaint local facts (france's national underwear changing day is march 12), song lyrics, helpful hints on how to get through customs (all insects must be spayed), and tidbits from dave barry's own fond vacation nightmares, dave barry's only travel guide you'll ever need is just that. You'll find everything you need to know in this incredibly comprehensive reference, including:- air travel (or: why birds never look truly relaxed)- traveling as a family (or: no, we are not there yet)- traveling in europe ("excuse me! where is the big mona lisa?")- camping: nature's way of promoting the motel industry [via]
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› Find signed collectible books: 'Dear Gangster...: Advice for the Lonelyhearted from the Gangster of Love'
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› Find signed collectible books: 'Photo Du Jour: A Picture-A-Day Journey Through the First Year of the New Millennium'
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› Find signed collectible books: 'The World According to Dave Barry'
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